The simple gesture that makes you 40% more attractive!

 The simple gesture that makes you 40% more attractive!



(Illustration by Yohei Kanno)

The simple gesture of nodding raises your perceived attractiveness, likeability and approachability by as much as 40% (according to a study by Japanese researcher Junichiro Kawahara at Hokkaido University)

Why is this so important in sales? 

This means people will choose to do business with someone they like even if a competitor has a slightly better product or service.

Anything you can do to improve your likeability is a short cut to success!   And admit it who does want to be seen as more attractive?  

Note:  the attractiveness is not related to physical attributes, but rather relates to personality traits. (I know what you were thinking. That headline had me thinking...40% more attractive will put me in George Clooney or Brad Pitt territory?)

For the past month I’ve been sharing this beautifully simple tip with sales people in various fields, with amazing results. 

But wait it gets even better! 

How and when you nod doesn't just lower people's shield's, it can also cause others to…

Say ‘yes’ to your request.   When asking a client if they want to buy your product or service, a couple of small nods combined with a warm smile will cause them to want to say yes to you. 

e.g.  So (smile) Jared (nodding) how would you feel about driving that super hot red sports car home today because it‘s not going to be on the lot for long?

(Smile) Well Jesse and Jayden (nodding) can you imagine how much fun it would be to entertain your friends on this beautiful family room in front of that fireplace because we could get you possession before spring arrives?

Simple formula:   Smile, name, nodding and request leads to an urge to say ‘yes’.

Make you more believable.  Nodding when you are making a major point in a presentation will cause your clients to believe what you are telling them.  

e.g.  (nodding)  we take great pride in our after sales service because we want you to be so happy you will want to refer us to your friends!

Encourage clients to open up. 

A few slow nods as you client speaks  encourages them to keep on talking. 

Master Persuaders know that you can only learn a clients wants and desires when you can get them to open up.   Your ideal objective should be a 70/30 talking ratio.  That’s them talking 70% of the time and you 30%. Maybe that's why ambiverts and sometimes even introverts can out sell extroverts? 

Interesting fact: the #1 reason people don't trust sales people is that they don't really listen and they talk too much!

Research has shown that sales superstars aim for this ratio.   How do they do it?  They ask open ended questions, nodding when the client speaks and they resist the urge to interrupt (which is super annoying).

Now let's talk about the speed and rhythm of the nod - 

*  Slow and lengthy nods usually show agreement and understanding. It conveys…"Take your time I'm listening"

*  Several small barely noticeable nods combined with a smile and a request is irresistible.

*  Your nods shouldn’t me more than a few inches.   The nods are barely noticeable.

Did you know this happens on a subconscious level? And who knew such a simple psychological tip could be so darn effective. Provided you don’t overdue it, no one will be consciously aware of what you are doing.

Nodding is so addictive that it's hard to resist nodding in return when someone does it to you.  And just try to say no when you are nodding yes!

With these facts in mind you gain a new power over your interactions:

A word of caution…


Nodding loses its power if you over do it.  You don’t want to look like a bobble head, so use it judiciously.
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Beyond the obvious…Calming the beast

A lady friend cornered me a few days ago and vented about how poorly her boss was treating her.  My first thought was oh no, she’s going off the rails again. Her habit was to rant with the persistence of the energy bunny.  She just keeps going and going..

So this time I tried using occasional slow nodding as she spoke while throwing in the a few uh huh’s.   Five minutes later she calmed down and thanked me for listening to  her.   She gave me a long warm hug and said it was the first time anyone had ever taken the time to really listen and understand her.  I was stunned.   She went from raging bull to happy puppy in mere minutes.

So what do you think would happen if you tried this on an upset customer?

Why it works?

Glad you asked grasshopper.   Because if you make someone feel that they are being understood and listened to it makes them feel respected.   And when they feel respected they feel good and credit you as the source of that good feeling.   Now they are open to suggestions and requests from you.   Beautiful, huh?  Who knew just shutting your mouth and nodding had such magic!

What are you going to do with this knowledge?

*  Take it for test drive?  Try it out on your clients, your spouse, friends and peers because you just might be surprised how often you can get others to your bidding.    How cool is that?

*  Review and repeat.   After every interaction, I like to do a mental review and ask myself, did I use this ridiculously simple psychological technique as directed and what effect did it have?

*  And anyway who doesn't want to be 40% more attractive?

*  Make my day and let me know how it worked for you!  And if you really want to make me happier than a dog with a bone, hit the subscribe link or hit the facebook share button below for more 'Secrets of Master Persuaders'...

What makes people highly persuasive?

 

FRIDAY, JUNE 20, 2014

9 traits of highly persuasive people. How many do you have?

1.  Constantly curious

In order to be highly persuasive you need to know everything possible about the person you are trying to persuade.  The two things most all people like to talk about are themselves and the things they like.  When you encourage others to talk about themselves they like you more.   And the more they like you the more they are likely to really listen when you do speak.    So ask a ton of questions and then be a...

2.  Great listener

The best sales people are not the fast talkers, they are the best listeners.   A rough guide line is to never talk more than 40% of the time.   Those who talk too much are not believed and make others suspicious of your intentions.

Learn to listen with your eyes.   Yeah sounds goofy but it really works and here is why?    When you watch intently you will begin to notice emotions that don't line up with their words. Paying attention to body language can give you valuable clues as what they are thinking.

The direction a person's feet are pointing will tell you where their head is.  If the feet are pointing away from you take that as a sign that they want to get away from you.   Crossed arms and leaning away from you may indicate they are not buying what you are saying.

3.  Generous

We all are pretty good at deciding who is a giver and who is a taker.    We like givers.   Giving also triggers reciprocity meaning they will feel a strong urge to give back and frequently give you more than you gave them.

A man gives a woman a sincere well thought out compliment and then asks her out on a date.   What do you think his chances of getting the date are?   Research says he has a 37% better chance of getting that date.   And guess what?   This principal can also help you make a sale.   Some people give out compliments like they were coming out their bank account.   Don't be that person.

Gift giving can cost a lot or nothing at all but the benefits can be great.   I have written extensively about the 'Rules of Reciprocity'.   It is powerful stuff.

4.  Storytellers

The most persuasive people don't have canned pitches they have great stories.   Stories are an amazing way to get past a persons resistance.   Tell a story about someone just like them had their problem and how you were able to solve it and chances are they will buy it.  

5.  Light hearted 

Those who are too serious suck the energy out of us.   Serious can only be effective in time of emergency or in small doses.   We prefer to be around light hearted people.   And it is much easier to get a person who is laughing to say yes than by laying too much serious on them.  

Serious people prefer the status quo.    People in light hearted mood are much more likely to try something new.  Job #1 is to start any interaction with a warm positive energy.

6.  Share the spotlight

Great persuaders are only to happy to share the spotlight and at times simply  deflect the spotlight on others.
They are the 'Public Praisers'.    They will seize every opportunity to praise others publically.   And how can you not  like someone who tells others how wonderful and talented you are?

7.   Comfort seekers

Not theirs....yours!   Great persuaders seek to make you comfortable.   They dress to make you comfortable.   They arrange to put you in situations that make you comfortable.   It's not about them, it's all about you.   Make a person comfortable and their resistance to you and your ideas dissolves.

8.  Clarify and simplify

Great persuaders know that too much information is a deal killer.   Too many choices mean no decision.  Complicated jargon is not believable.   It makes you sound salsey.   The more simple the persuasion the better the chance that it will be accepted.  

Do you remember this line from the OJ Simpson trial....if the glove doesn't fit you must acquit.   That simple line won the day.    Simplify.

9.  Admit you don't know

When you admit that you don't know something or that you were wrong, what happens?   Your credibility goes sky high.   It gets interpreted as a sign that you are honest and to be trusted.   Most people won't do that and then again.....most people aren't great persuaders!

Secrets of Con Artists

Secrets of Con Artists





Confession...

While I was studying how con artists work, I came to the realization that they use a lot of the same techniques  I teach in persuasion courses.   YIKES!   The only difference between con artists and me is 'intent'.  

I teach persuasion techniques in order for you and clients to reach a mutually beneficial outcome.   However, there is always the possiblity that some people will use them to manipulate you.  I'm comfortable with my intent.

So how do con artists work?

1.   Extreme likeability.   Con artists appear to be generous and kind.  The will often give you small gifts or do you favors to win your confidence. They project warmth and sincerity and confidence.   The attitbutes of people we might say are charismatic.

2.  Client intelligence or should I say victim intelligence.   A con artist wants to know everything possible about his/her mark.   They want to know your likes and dislikes.   To gather this 'intel' they will search your social media, do internet searches and ask a ton of questions to get to know you. The idea is to get you to talk twice as much as they do.  And who doesn't like to talk about themselves?

3.  Seek the similarities.   First they want to find out everything they can that they share in common with you.   Next, they will fake similarties to further gain your confidences.   They want to appear to be similar to you so that you will lower your resistance.  This builds trust and likeability. Often it will feel to their victim that they have found their soul mate or a brother or sister. 

4.  Ask for a small favor followed by a much bigger favor.   This is the 'Ben Franklin' principal.   Old Ben found out that if you ask for a small favor, the other person starts to like you (after all he did a kindness for you) and then is more open to a bigger favor later.  This has been researched and proven to work.

5.  Learns your emotional triggers.   Your passions, your hurts and your desires.  And most common amongst con artists is to appeal to your greed.

6.  Listen and make adjustments.   Not every con goes smoothly so they are careful to listen and observe everything you do and say.    They need to pay attention to your body language....to read you like a book.  Only when everything looks positive will they attempt to give you their amazing pitch or plead for your help.

7.  Show immense gratitude and appreciation for who and what you are.  It is difficult not to like and trust someone who sees the greatness in you that others don't appreciate. 

8.  Repeat back what you say to them.   This makes you feel like they really are paying intense interest in you.

9.  To gain your respect they will show you their (fake)  accomplishments and credentials.  This works even  better if someone else does the bragging about the con's attibutes.  After all he is too humble to brag, right?

10.   Only after they feel that you like, trust and respect them will they make the pitch that is going to seperate you from your money.

I'm not trying to teach anyone how to be a con artist however how can it not be a good thing to know how they operate.   If you gut instinct tells you something isn't right..trust it.   However, if we all good at that intution thing no one would ever get conned. 

Bonus....whenever someone is trying to sell you something observe how many of these techniques they are using?  It will be an eye opener.   Cheers

The happiness advantage

 

"Happy people are strong magnets.  We are irresistible drawn to be near them"

Studies of sports teams have found that even one happy player was enough to infect the mood of the entire team.   And the happier the team, the better they played!  Why?  It's because moods are contagious.   The happy virus spreads through a group faster than a jack rabbit in front of a prairie fire.  Happiness is cognitive candy to the brain.

So what does this mean when you are trying to persuade someone to buy your product, service or idea?  Fun is the path of least resistance!  Make your client happy and their resistance to you will melt away faster than ice cream on hot pavement.   Happy people are way more likely to make changes and take chances.   Let that sink in!

But wait, it get's even better..

Did you know, energy flows to fun?   The happier you are the more energy you will have, and the better your brain will work.   Selling becomes fun, easy and abundant when you are on a happy high.   The best thing is, shared laughter is like crazy glue for you and your clients.

Why it works..

Moods are contagious.  Thanks to our mirror neurons, we can read and feel emotions in another persons face in 33 milli-seconds.  So the first step in your sales process is to get high.   And it works for so many other things you do as well.   I know when I'm happy I am more creative and are much better at writing seductively simple posts like this.  

The dangers of being too serious..

Dull, boring and serious sucks the energy out of everyone.   It puts your client into what is called slow thinking.   This where they become critical and judgemental.   They start weighing the pro's and con's of your proposal.   They are much more apt to say; no thanks or let me think it over.   On the other hand when they get infected with your happiness they switch into fast thinking mode. This is where they are much more likely to be impulsive and make a quick 'yes' decision.  

Ok, Mr SmartyPants, what is a simple way to get my client in a happy mood?

What if you started out a conversation by saying....how can I make you happy today?   It almost always makes the client laugh and respond by saying something like; you could give me a million dollars or you can get me a hot date for Saturday night.   When you start a conversation or meeting with something fun everything gets easier.   

Here is my ridiculously simple 3 step process for sales success..

1.  Fun first
2.  Serious second

3.  Buy me a beer!

P.S.   If you want to make me happier than a mosquito at a nudist colony, just hit the facebook share button below.   Or share it as you see fit.  Oh, and it would be cool if you left a comment below.  Cheers!

What if making sales was easier than you thought?

 

What if I told you that there is no need to work hard, sacrifice and delay gratification till some distant time in the future?  What if I told you that selling was meant to be fun, easy and abundant?   

What if I told you that asking hypothetical questions could influence how other people will act? The way that you ask questions can be highly persuasive especially if the question starts with the words, ‘what if.’    

Why it works…

The brain processes the words ‘what if’ as if it isn’t even there.   So people are processing your question as if it were fact according to recent research from the University of Alberta.  Think about that?

Lets have some fun and run through a few examples of how you might use this seductively simple persuasion technique..

1)  A realtor wants to get a listing on a home.

E.G.   “What if I told you that I could get your home sold quicker and for more money by using our companies  unique marketing system?”

Why it works?    

If you dropped the ‘what if’  and just said, ‘I can sell your home quicker for more money by using our unique marketing system.’   The client would most likely be thinking to herself…‘yeah right, that’s what they all say’.  

 But if you precede the statement with ‘what if’  then the client allows the information into her brain without resistance and wonders to herself how might that be possible?  The realtor now has an open door to continue the persuasion because she is now considering it as a possibility. 

2)  You want a client to sign up for your weight loss program.

E.G.   What if you could lose 20 lbs before Christmas and you could eat as much as you like?

Why it works? 

Again it gets past the resistance by not phrasing it in a way that would be perceived as a sales pitch.   The client can’t help but imagine it being possible to lose those 20 lbs by Christmas.   Remember you haven’t directly asked for the sale you have just proposed a possibility.   The clients response will dictate how you react.   If you’ve gained their interest with your ‘what if’ question the sale is half done.   

3)   The car sales person says, what if we could get the financing approved this afternoon and you could drive that beautiful SUV home today?

Why it works?

The buyer might start imagining his jealous friends reactions to his beautiful new machine.  Or the feeling of pride driving home and parking it in front of his home for all his neighbors to admire. In short, the ’what if’ question causes him to mentally take ownership of the car.  

Of course this will only work if your ’what if’ question is received as credible and plausible.  

Will this work all of the time?   No, nothing works all of the time despite what the self help Guru’s try to peddle us.  But you will be surprised how often it works like magic.   

Beyond the obvious..

Using ‘what if’ questions is a beautiful way to avoid flat out rejection because it is only a ‘what if’.   If you don’t get a yes, you can re-phrase it and try again a little later.

What if you were to hit the facebook share button below, because it would make me happier than a mosquito at a nudist camp?

Donald Trumps Secret Sauce For Success

 

Science proves that fake it till you make it works!

According to what we call status-enhancement theory, people gain influence by acting dominant and confident. Doing so gives others the impression that you’re a competent person. One study tested the effect of dominance on perceived competence—and how a person’s true level of competence factors into how others see them (from Psychology Today)

Before the session began the researchers rate how dominant each person felt

their personality was and their dominant behaviors during the study.  Then they gave them math problems to solve.  When the problem-solving session was over, team members also judged each other’s mathematical abilities, and a new set of observers made the same judgments based on the recording of that session.

The critical finding was that peers and observers judged the more dominant members to be more mathematically competent, regardless of whether the answers they gave were correct or incorrect.

Why?

Why was self-confidence more important than accuracy when others judged them?

For some reason, we are mesmerized when people express themselves with absolute conviction. We will overlook inaccuracies, omissions, and flaws in reasoning, because conviction temporarily distracts us from the substance of what they’re saying.

Donald Trump's secret sauce is absolute certainty!   Nothing he says is wishy washy.  He has the biggest brain.   He is smarter than the generals and the scientists.    Only he can solve the countries problems and guess what?   Millions of American believed him.   

Fake till you make it also has a positive side that you can use.   Nervous about an important presentation or interview?   Fake it.   Tell yourself you are the best person for the job or presentation and then act like it.  Stand tall, speak strong and look the part because it will make you look more competent and believable.   Trust me I've done this many times in my life particularly when speaking in front of large groups and it works!

Beyond the obvious..

Did you know that the  first person to speak up at a meeting is usually the one whose thoughts and ideas are accepted?  Why?  Because speaking up first makes you appear to be the dominant person in the room and thus deemed to be confident and believable.    So when your boss asks for input or ideas, be the first to stand up and respond and every one present will think more highly of you.

Remember this....Donald Trump got to be President of the United States because he faked it until he made it!

   

Simple phrase to get people to tell you what they are really thinking

A POWERFUL PHRASE

To find out the needs, wants, and views of others just ask. Tell me what you need to move forward? or Tell me more about the problems you are facing?,” Amazingly, people will happily open up and give you insights into what they are thinking and what their priorities are.

WHY “TELL ME” IS SO POWERFUL

‘Tell me’ is more than just a prompt. It almost compels the other person to open up. It’s the broadest possible question to give you the most information.  And that gives you the best possible insight into the challenges you’re facing.

"You can't solve an objection unless you first find out what the real objection is"

'Tell me', gives the person you are trying to persuade a feeling of being in control instead of the feeling of being sold.

 There are several reasons why it’s so effective. It gives you the other person’s view. When you say “tell me” either in an open-ended or directed way, such as “tell me what you think the problem is,” the other person is free to share their most pressing views without being influenced by a leading question. You learn the other person’s definition of a situation or problem.

The possibilities are endless..

Tell me what it would take for you to say yes?

Tell me what is preventing you from making a decision today?

Tell me what you like and don't like about our product, service or idea?

Tell me what you like or don't like about your present supplier?

Well you get the idea.    And here is my favorite phrase to really get someone to open up....

That's interesting, tell me more?

Of course for this to really work it's vital that you not only shut up after saying the phrase but you also need to really listen.   Over my many years of teaching sales one of the biggest downfalls of many people is that they talk too much and listen too little.

Now I double dog dare you to take this phrase for a spin for a full week?   Try it not just on your clients but also on friends, family and anyone you meet.  I'm certain you will find just as I have that this simple phrase will works it wonders beyond your expectations.

It's to forget to use this powerful little phrase until you make it a habit,
so I printed this little card and carried it around for a week to remind myself to use it at every opportunity.   It worked it wonders..