Did you know that... that talking behind someone's back can make people like, trust and respect you?
Psychologist call this weird phenomenon....'spontaneous trait transference'. In simple terms it means that people assume you to have the same traits you describe when talking about a third person not present in the conversation.
The effect is so strong that it even works when people know that the traits do not describe you.
What does this mean?
"Praising those not present is not only an act of kindness, it is also a gift to yourself'
People on a subconscious level assume that you are what you say about others! If you describe a third party not present as being smart and trustworthy, the person you are talking to will assume you are smart and trustworthy. The bad news is if you describe someone as being lazy and stupid they will be begin to think maybe you are lazy and stupid!~ WOW!
My mother was was far wiser than I gave her credit for
When we were kids she would often tell us, 'if you can't say something nice about others, don't say anyhing at all' Anyone who ever knew my mother would describe her as one the kindest, gentlest humans on the planet and this is just one of the reasons why. Thanks mum!
Now I feel like an idiot for all the times I bad mouthed someone. To think I've made people think less of me by going negative on others is humiliating. Oh well, going forward I am intent on leaving that bad habit in the dust because a closed mouth gathers no foot.
Is it persuasion or manipulation?
Compliments that aren't genuine are manipulation and can back fire on you. People will know when you describe a positive trait of someone that they know just isn't true. Then they will think less of you. So it's simple, be genuine.
So, to make the person you are speaking to like, trust and respect you more, say nice things about others.
Beyond the obvious
Do you know who else you should never bad mouth? Yourself! Well on second thought, you probably knew that, right?
Is it persuasion or manipulation?
Compliments that aren't genuine are manipulation and can back fire on you. People will know when you describe a positive trait of someone that they know just isn't true. Then they will think less of you. So it's simple, be genuine.
So, to make the person you are speaking to like, trust and respect you more, say nice things about others.
Beyond the obvious
Do you know who else you should never bad mouth? Yourself! Well on second thought, you probably knew that, right?
When I think of all of the techniques, tricks and tips I've ever studied to gain trust and respect, this is one of the is most simple and effective.
What if you spent more effort to compliment those not present?
What if you spent more effort to compliment those not present?
Because people will think more of you and want to do business with you.
How would you feel about that?
How would you feel about that?
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